Dieting: Part Breakfast

My calorie counter is a vengeful calorie counter. After like 4 months of sitting next to a vending machine at work, I’m looking a little jollier than I like these days and with the big 3-0 birthday coming up in a couple months, I’ve decided to go back to the life of hard work and deprivation (except not really) and attempt to slim down back to my happy weight. Or at least my pants-fitting weight.

I sat down and thought about what my goal is, what my needs are, and what tools I have, and I came up with the start of a diet plan. Well, a general idea and one week of diet plan.

Goal: To lose 6 pounds in 9 weeks. This works out to something like 3/4 a pound a week (sorry, but despite what they say, not all Asians are good at math), and when I put it that way it doesn’t seem too hard to do.

Needs: To not die of starvation. Kidding, slightly. Hunger is unendurable for me and if I feel the slightest bit deprived not only can I eat the entire contents of my pantry, but I want to as well. Including the flour. Man, that shit is gross on it’s own. So, five small meals a day. Plenty of raw fruits and vegetables. No processed sugar. Sounds…great.

Tools: Lots of ingredients. My kitchen is bursting with wholesomeness. Any remotely sugary or junky foody has been given to the Boy Scouts for their food drive (sorry, Boy Scouts! Enjoy the gluten-free cake mix!) and I’ve made enough dried fruit to survive a few weeks of zombie apocalypse. I also have the above mentioned vengeful calorie counter. No shit, this thing makes me feel like I’ve punched a baby every time I see the daily intake go into the red.

Thus “armed,” so to speak, I busted out The Master (aka my obnoxiously anal-retentive to-do list) and executed the following breakfast recipe:

Crockpot Oatmeal

Steel Cut Oats


Basic Tasty Version Ingredients:
1 cup steel cut oats
5 cups water
½ cup dried, unsweetened apple slices
1 cup unsweetened apple sauce
1 – 1.5 tbsp. pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp. vanilla
Powdered stevia, to taste

Take your dried apple slices and chop them up a bit. I like having a little bit of apple slice in every bite, so I cut them up into pretty small bits. More like a dried apple flake, if you will. Set those aside for the time being.

Now mix up your applesauce with the powdered stevia. If you are using pre-sweetened applesauce, you could probably skip this step. Since I was freezing my oatmeal to carry to work, I thought I’d add a little more sweetener than I would if I were not cooking a commuter breakfast. HINDSIGHT: I could actually not have even bothered with this, as all the sweetness was gone by like, Tuesday, and I was left with just a weird stevia texture. Ah well, you live and learn.

Dump everything into the crockpot before you go to bed, and cook on low. In the morning you will have an awesome and healthy breakfast ready to be packaged into a container for quick work lunches. Or if you’re normal or something I guess you could sit down and have it for breakfast right there.

 Nutrition Facts:
4 Servings

Amount Per Serving
Calories 234
Total Fat 3.2 g
Saturated Fat 0.1 g
Sodium 8.0 mg
Potassium 56.6 mg
Total Carbohydrate 44.5 g
Dietary Fiber 6.7 g
Sugars 11.9 g
Protein 6.4 g

XTREME Tasty Version Ingredients:
Handful of raw almonds
Few squirts of raw honey
Handful of chopped dates

Conclusion: screw you, stevia! Also, steel cut oats are going to require more experimentation before I commit to them. Rolled oats are my favorite, but I want to like steel cut since the internet tells me that they are healthier or something. I may have shot myself in the foot by using the stevia, but I’ll keep trying and see if these will grow on me.

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